Standing in the shadows after the fall
by Angel Pendragon
Summary: Castiel never had the chance to say how he truly felt, his stubborness and lack of human emotion didn't help! but his silence cost him everything.... based on a song I was listening to at the time R&R PLEASE......


"Standing in the shadows"

Castiel glumly stared down at his feet as he heard the 1968 Pontiac speed away down the road kicking up dust as it went.

It's wheels screaming as loud as his conscience was in his head, telling him to stop this madness and go after her before it was too late.

He was left standing alone in the middle of the road in the early hours after he had agreed to meet her and talk because she needed to ask him some things before the final fight with the angels against the demons.

Castiel had let his guard down and had began to fall for the girl who had become a big part of the fight, she was a weapon to hear the archangels speak and he had been chosen to keep her safe along with the Winchester's but he hadn't done a very good job.

She had been kidnapped by demons and tortured in a hope she would talk and reveal secrets and information the demons could use against the angels.

The demons loved to torture her because she was the only angel that could bleed and hurt.

Castiel had slowly fallen in love with her and had even given into the temptation of her and once found himself in bed with her and it was perfect, heaven on earth.

He never knew he could feel that way, he never knew he could love somebody so much and need them so much but he was a stubborn man who when it came to showing emotions failed and never told her how he truly felt about her.

Ava had rung him and asked him to meet her so they could talk because tomorrow was the first day of the final fight and the angels and demons were going to have the first of many face off's and Ava was centre of it all and she just needed some answers before she went into battle.

She needed to tell him all her secrets, hopes, dreams, wishes and she needed to tell him she loved him.

"I love you Castiel" her voice echoed in his head as he processed what she had just said.

He loved her too but he didn't know how to tell her. He had no idea where to begin and he knew he was coming across cold and weary.

The words burned in his throat but he just couldn't get them out.

He stood in silence for what seemed like forever and the longer the silence the more pained Ava's face became.

It suddenly sunk in that he didn't feel the same way and why should he, he was pure angel and he knew nothing of human emotions.

Ava however had a human parent so she was open to all the flaws of humanity and all the emotions that went with it from the pain, loss, fear, guilt and even love.

She stared up at Castiel who was just staring into the distance and she felt her heart break into a million pieces.

She knew she was wasting her time with him and that one night they spent together was nothing but an experiment to him, something he could tell Dean about.

Dean had told Cas he wasn't going to die a virgin and that much was true now. She gave herself to the angel thinking he was different but he was just like any other man.

"Tomorrow I'll probably die, so I want to say good bye and good luck. I hope you win, forget every thing I've just said" she said softly as she turned and walked to her car letting the salty tears fall as she went.

The dirt under her feet crunched as she walked back to her Pontiac with a broken heart and an empty soul.

She secretly hoped she was going to die tomorrow now, she didn't want to live with out Cas beside her side and he didn't feel the same way towards her as she did him and it was the worst pain ever, she would take being tortured by demons any day over this.

Castiel stared helplessly into the night as he heard the car speed away.

He had been too caught up in the apocalypse and the fight against Lucifer and watching Dean's back every minute to ever tell her he loved her and he really did.

He'd waited too long and now his chance had gone, Ava had gone and he knew he wouldn't be able to find her in time before she went to fight because she would now be blocking her self from him.

He should have told her right from the start and maybe now she wouldn't be going on a suicide mission.


End file.
